Babies Cry, You Can Cope: ICON Week 2024
Warning: This article discusses the dangers and consequences of shaking babies.
It’s normal for babies to cry. It’s their only way to ask for help if they’re in pain, hungry or have been startled. Some babies cry for no obvious reason. That’s normal, too.
Whatever the cause, a baby crying can be upsetting and frustrating for parents. Stress and tiredness can make those feelings worse and harder to get over.
If you are struggling, getting help is the right thing for you and your baby.
ICON is a charity that can offer support and advice to parents. For ICON week 2024, here are the four steps to remember.
Before we begin: Remember, if you are worried that your baby is unwell, contact us or call NHS 111.
Infant crying is normal
Crying is a baby’s only way to communicate. It is designed to be upsetting for parents to hear. It’s nature’s way of making sure they get our attention.
While every baby is different, there is a ‘normal’ curve of how much they might cry, and when.
At two weeks, they may start to cry more frequently and for longer. This can peak at around 8 weeks.
After that, babies tend to cry less and less each week.
It’s important to check for any physical reason they might be crying. Reflux, intolerance to cows milk, another type of pain or discomfort.
But there might not be a reason, and comforting them might not stop it either. That’s normal, too, but it’s still upsetting for you. And your distress can add to theirs, and the other way round.
ICONs tip: Pause at the Door, and check the three Cs:
- Can I be careful?
- Am I calm?
- Will I be caring?
A quick check helps you know if you’re ok to go in, or if taking a few minutes would be a good idea.
Comforting Methods Can Help
We’ve mentioned why babies might cry. Hunger, pain, needing a fresh nappy. After checking these, you can try some calming techniques:
- Talk calmly to your baby. Hold them against you and stroke them gently on the back.
- Hum or sing to them. A constant, gentle sound can be soothing,
- Hold them close. Try skin-to-skin contact to help them feel close to you.
- Go outside. The rocking motion of a pram or being carried can help.
- Sucking can relieve crying. Offering the breast or a dummy can help.
- A warm bath.
Remember, what worked last time might not work today. That’s ok. Stay calm, and the phase will pass.
If you are worried that your baby is unwell, contact your GP or call NHS 111.
It’s OK to walk away
As long as your baby is safe, it’s ok to walk away for a few minutes. If the crying is getting to you, this can be a good way to calm yourself.
Think of ways to calm yourself before checking back on them in a few minutes.
Parents and caregivers need to look after themselves. It can help you cope with a stressful, sleep-deprived time.
ICON suggest making a personal plan for coping with crying.
Jot down some calming methods to try, who to call for help, and ideas for taking a few minutes.
Never, ever shake a baby
Not being able to get a baby to stop crying is a trigger for shaking a baby.
This is highly dangerous. Shaking a baby can lead to brain damage or death.
Watch Ellis’ story.
Warning: this video contains a mother’s first-hand account of what happened to her son after he was shaken.